Around the time of Holidailies last year, another website appeared, one dedicated to mocking those of us who were (for lack of a better word) trainwrecks.  With little to no shame, I will admit that I’ve been reading it pretty regularly since then.  Some of the sites they link to are more sad than funny but some are purely mockworthy.  Even while I’ve giggled at some and been merely horrified by others, there’s always been a tiny part of me that has wondered if I’d ever find myself mocked.  And then, today I discovered that I was.  So far I’ve only merited a brief mention in the Christmas open thread, but who knows where it might go.  After a brief pang of ‘oh my god, I am a total dork’ I realized that I would like to talk a bit about the comment.

Kudzu says “Seeking Samahdi is a self-described “therapist-in-training, a writer, a feminist, a polyamorous bisexual woman in a long term relationship with a man, a spiritual seeker” who was attending AA in June, but is now sharing her after-dinner toddy with her dog. Call me petty, but that just ain’t right.”

Of all the situations I’ve written about, I’m rather surprised that’s what got me linked on Trainwrecks.  Also?  I’m disappointed.  What about the polyamoury stuff?  The phobic whining?  Instead I get called out for making a tongue in cheek post about giving my dog tastes of a pre-bottled Mudslide.

To be perfectly honest, however - if I’m not careful I could become a true trainwreck.  I have gone off the wagon.  After much thought - on my own, with Tom, with my family and with my therapist - I decided that I want to try controlled drinking again.  I don’t want to go back to drinking every night, or as much as I’d been drinking before.  But I’ve discovered that knowing I can have one single drink every now and again takes the charge out of it.  The cravings have all but disappeared.  I’m a bit worried about the slippery slope - that if I don’t watch myself I’ll be having another 6 martini dinner and fighting with Tom as we walk down Castro Street.

So far, though, I’ve managed to keep myself together.  And I have a support system in place, ready and willing to tell me to get myself back to AA if I start going downhill.

Posted on December 29th, 2006 by Kat
Filed under: Holidailies 2006, AA, General