They happen every now and again (and I certainly don’t blame Tai) - but I am worn out. Fortunately when Tom got home he took over baby-calming duties and I got a chance to eat and breathe. Now Tai is napping (at last) and we’re watching a movie. Read: Tom is watching a movie and I’m surfing the web - reading LJ and buying cloth diapers. I’m going to be such an addict. But there are so many cool ones out there! So far I’m buying used off diaperswappers.com and the clothdiapering community here.

The day started out on the right foot, though. Tai woke up at 6:30 or so, giving me a full seven hours of sleep. This makes me quite the happy camper. He was in a good mood, and Tom even had a few minutes to play with him before heading to work. I decided I made eggs for breakfast enough times this week (Tai gets bored waiting for me to cook) so I went to buy some milk at Good Life. Tom walked down the block with Tai and me, too. Tai decided he loves Good Life - they have ceiling fans above their door. I hadn’t noticed, but he was totally checking them out from the Bjorn. I have to say, I haven’t been out of the house at 8:30 in ages. Early!

Since I was awake and about, I decided to take Tai to the Moms and Babies yoga at Bernal Yoga. I fed him not long before we left, changed his diaper and figured all would be well. Can you guess where this is going? He started fussing before the class even started. The only time he stopped was when I was playing with him (not doing yoga) or nursing. In an hour I got about ten minutes of yoga in. Just enough to stretch my right leg so I was nicely lopsided for the rest of the day. We left early because otherwise none of my classmates would have been able to hear the instructor. At least we weren’t the first ones leaving. I figure Tai was just bored - who wants to lay around on the floor and watch Mom do weird bendy things? Plus, it was hot. And maybe he was picking up on my nervousness - I’m not the greatest at starting new things. My Mom says we should keep trying - after all, it was new for him too - and it might be a good way to meet other Moms.

For the rest of the day, Tai was mostly fussy. He was fine when he was eating or I was holding him, and when we went out to the Post Office and the pet store for dog food… and we even got a good half an hour or so of floor play time… but otherwise it was rough. He wasn’t much of a napper, either. I finally hit my limit around 7 and put him in the stroller and walked up and down Cortland for about half an hour or 40 minutes. He fell asleep while we were moving and didn’t wake up until we got home - and the stroller stopped. Fortunately Tom had arrived then.

Mom’s back down in the desert for a couple of weeks, so I’m trying to find ways to keep myself occupied. I really need to make more friends who are also mothers. Anat and I got together yesterday afternoon. We headed down to a coffee shop on Mission, then just went back to her place and hung out. It was cool to see her daughter, Talya and Tai together. Tai didn’t seem to notice her too much, but she kept looking at him while they were ‘playing’ together on the floor. I think it’s helpful just to be with someone else who has a kid near Tai’s age.

Unfortunately the support group for women who had difficult, disappointing or traumatic birth experiences that was going to start at Natural Resources didn’t get enough people signed up and so was cancelled. I was looking forward to meeting other women who had gone through similar things… Maybe I’ll post on Craigslist and see if I can start something myself. We’ll see.

So it’s ten-thirty and I’m feeling frazzled and sort of bummed. But it’s almost time for bed, then sleep and tomorrow’s another day.

In other news - don’t watch sad dog movies when already having a rough night. I am such a sucker for dogs; I bawl like a baby when they get killed.

Posted on April 16th, 2008 by Kat
Filed under: depression, Tai, General