Seeking Samadhi

Dear Tai,

Happy 3-month birthday, baby boy! I say this in every letter (and even more often than that in day-to-day life), but I just can’t believe how much you change in just a few short weeks. Every time I turn around you are doing something new. I have never been so fascinated by another person. Watching you grow and become your own person is my favorite pastime, as I’m sure it will be for the next several decades, I’m sure. I love getting to know you.

You keep changing so quickly. You’ve learned to suck your thumb, sometimes without poking yourself in the eye at the same time. You often prefer to just munch on your whole fist. I still need to encourage you not to gag yourself on your fingers. It seems like you’re going to be a right-handed person. You tend to have that hand in your mouth most often, and when you reach for a spoon in the restaurant, you use that hand.

You’ve started to roll over when I put you on your belly, though you don’t do it very often. The last time you did, you looked so surprised! You’ve also started giggling. You have ticklish knees and thighs. We can make you laugh just by joggling you a certain way.

You’re always happy to see Daddy when he gets home from work, and you like it when he gives you your evening bottle and holds you while you fall asleep for the evening. You even put up with him when he balances the bottle on his belly so he can play Grand Theft Auto 4 while feeding you. Yet another item in the list of things daddies and mommies do differently!

You’ve had more visitors - Mimi and Poppa visited again. They wish they lived closer. Mimi always cries when she has to say goodbye to you. Grandpa Brogan came for a weekend as well. You are never going to have a shortage of loving grandparents. Grandma Karen has been away for a couple of weeks, but she’ll be back soon. Today you listened carefully when she talked to you on the phone. She said you sound older when she heard you start to fuss.

Your crying has changed too. You don’t sound like a newborn anymore! And your pissed off cry has developed quite a high pitch at times. You like to whine before you fall asleep, and you still don’t hesitate to let me know when I’m not feeding you quickly enough. As a matter of fact, you always make sure your complaints are well known. (Though you don’t complain often.)

You’re still sleeping so spectacularly at night. Usually from 11 or so until 7. I don’t even mind that you’re King of Catnaps during the rest of the day.

We’ve started going out more to meet other Momma’s and babies. On Wednesday we do Moms and Babies yoga, where you mostly watch me sweat and make faces while I attempt the proper poses and try to remember to breathe. On Fridays we’ve gone to several New Moms’ support groups at Natural Resources. Today we went to the Homebirth Collective New Moms group, where you impressed everyone with how cute you are. You love to flirt with everyone. At least once a week we hang out with Anat and Talya.

We’ve kept traveling too. We went to Stairstep Falls in Marin and to the Maker Faire in San Mateo. We went to the Bay Area Homebirth Collective picnic in Berkeley and you met two of the midwives I interviewed (Sue and Abigail). You love to explore new places and see new people and I’m working my hardest to get over my shyness so you can experience everything you desire.

I love you my dude-er, my dude-head, my boober, my Tai. You are my sweetest boy.

Love,
Your Momma